Have you ever found yourself consistently putting others’ needs to the point of sacrificing your well-being? This is known as the fawn response, a trauma response that involves prioritizing others’ needs to avoid conflict, criticism, or disapproval. Therapist Pete Walker first coined the term and has since gained recognition in psychology, particularly in studying trauma and its effects on the brain.
The fawn response is one of four fear responses, alongside fight, flight, and freeze. While the other three reactions involve confronting or avoiding a threat, the fawn response is trying to appease the threat by pleasing them. This behavior is often seen in individuals who have experienced childhood trauma, particularly those with violent or narcissistic caregivers. While the fawn response may have been adaptive in the past, it can become maladaptive in adulthood, leading to a pattern of people-pleasing and self-neglect.
Understanding Fawn Response
If you have experienced trauma, you may be familiar with the fight, flight or freeze response. However, another response is less commonly known but just as important to understand: the fawn response.
Biological Basis
The fawn response is a survival mechanism activated in the face of danger. It involves trying to appease the threat to avoid harm. This response is often seen in individuals who have experienced repeated trauma, such as childhood abuse or neglect.
When the fawn response is activated, the body releases hormones, including cortisol and adrenaline. These hormones prepare the body for action, increasing heart rate, blood pressure, and respiration. However, instead of fighting or fleeing, the individual may freeze or try to please the threat to avoid harm.
Triggers
The fawn response can be triggered by a variety of situations, including:
- Confrontation or conflict with others
- Feeling powerless or helpless
- Feeling unsafe or threatened
- Being in an abusive or controlling relationship
- Being in a situation where there is a power imbalance
Individuals who have experienced childhood trauma or abuse are more likely to develop the fawn response as a coping mechanism. However, it can also be seen in individuals who have experienced other types of trauma, such as sexual assault or domestic violence.
It is important to note that the fawn response is a natural response to trauma and is not a sign of weakness. However, it can become problematic if it is the only coping mechanism an individual relies on. Therapy and other forms of support can help individuals learn new coping skills and break free from the cycle of trauma and abuse.
Fawn Response in Animals
Regarding the fear response in animals, the fawn response is a lesser-known but equally important reaction. A submissive and appeasing behavior towards the perceived threat characterizes this response. In this section, we will explore how the fawn response manifests in different types of animals, including mammals, birds, and reptiles.
Mammals
Mammals are known for exhibiting the fawn response to protect themselves from predators. For example, deer and rabbits may freeze in place when they sense danger, hoping that the predator will not notice them. Similarly, domesticated dogs may cower and whine when confronted by a more dominant dog.
Birds
Birds also exhibit a fawn response, especially when they feel threatened by a predator. For instance, some birds may feign injury to distract predators from their nests or young. This behavior is commonly observed in ground-nesting birds like plovers and killdeer.
Reptiles
Reptiles may also exhibit the fawn response, although it may not be as apparent as in mammals and birds. For example, some snakes may freeze in place when they sense danger, hoping to avoid detection. Similarly, turtles may retract into their shells when threatened, hoping the predator will lose interest.
Fawn Response in Humans
Psychological Aspects
The fawn response is a response to a perceived danger that involves trying to appease or please the threat to keep oneself safe. This response is often seen in individuals who have experienced trauma or abuse and have learned that their survival depends on avoiding conflict and pleasing others.
Individuals who exhibit the fawn response may have difficulty saying no, fear expressing their needs and desires, and tend to deny their feelings to keep the peace. They may also struggle with guilt and shame when they assert themselves, as they have learned that doing so can lead to negative consequences.
Physical Manifestations
The fawn response can manifest in a variety of physical ways as well. When faced with a perceived threat, individuals who exhibit the fawn response may experience a racing heart, sweating, shaking, or nausea. They may also have difficulty breathing or feel like they will faint.
These physical symptoms result from suppressing the body’s natural fight or flight response in favor of the fawn response. Instead of fighting or fleeing the threat, the individual tries to appease it, which can lead to feelings of anxiety and physical discomfort.
Fawn Response and Trauma
When you experience a traumatic event, your body automatically responds with one of four reactions: fight, flight, freeze, or fawn. The fawn response is a type of trauma response often associated with childhood and complex trauma. This response is characterized by a strong desire to please others and avoid conflict to stay safe.
Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder
The fawn response can be a symptom of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), a mental health condition that can develop after experiencing or witnessing a traumatic event. People with PTSD may experience flashbacks, nightmares, intense anxiety, and fear. They may also avoid situations or people that remind them of the traumatic event.
The fawn response can be a way for people with PTSD to cope with their symptoms. By avoiding conflict and trying to please others, they may feel they are protecting themselves from further harm. However, this coping mechanism can also lead to guilt, shame, and low self-esteem.
Therapy and Management
Therapy can be an effective way to manage the fawn response and other symptoms of PTSD. Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) is a type of therapy that can help people with PTSD identify and change negative thought patterns and behaviors. Exposure therapy is another type of therapy that can help people with PTSD confront their fears and overcome their avoidance behaviors.
In addition to therapy, there are also self-care strategies that can help manage the fawn response and other symptoms of PTSD. These strategies include:
- Practicing relaxation techniques, such as deep breathing and meditation
- Engaging in regular exercise and physical activity
- Seeking support from friends and family
- Setting boundaries and learning to say no
- Engaging in activities that bring joy and pleasure
The fawn response is a typical trauma response that can develop after experiencing or witnessing a traumatic event. By understanding this response and seeking appropriate treatment and support, people with PTSD can learn to manage their symptoms and lead fulfilling lives.
Fawn Response in Everyday Life
If you tend to prioritize the needs of others over your own, avoid conflict, and have difficulty setting boundaries, you may be exhibiting a fawn response. This response is a coping mechanism that can develop after experiencing trauma or abuse. It can manifest in various ways in your daily life, affecting your personal relationships and workplace interactions.
Workplace Scenarios
In the workplace, the fawn response can lead you to take on more work than you can handle, agree to tasks not part of your job description, and avoid confrontation with colleagues or bosses. While these behaviors may seem harmless, they can lead to burnout, resentment, and a lack of respect from others.
To overcome the fawn response in the workplace, learning to set boundaries and communicate your needs effectively is essential. Practice saying “no” when you are asked to take on more work than you can handle and be clear about your job responsibilities. If you feel uncomfortable with a task or request, express your concerns. Remember that you have the right to prioritize your well-being and should not sacrifice it for the sake of others.
Personal Relationships
The fawn response can manifest in personal relationships as people-pleasing, codependency, and a fear of abandonment. You may prioritize your partner’s needs over your own, avoid conflict, and struggle to express your feelings and opinions. While these behaviors may seem like a way to maintain harmony in your relationship, they can lead to resentment, a lack of self-esteem, and an unhealthy dynamic.
To overcome the fawn response in personal relationships, learning to set boundaries and communicate your needs effectively is essential. Practice expressing your feelings and opinions, even if they differ from your partner’s. Remember that it is okay to prioritize your needs and that a healthy relationship involves mutual respect and compromise.
Key Takeaways
- The fawn response is a trauma response that involves prioritizing others’ needs to avoid conflict, criticism, or disapproval.
- The fawn response is one of four fear responses, alongside fight, flight, and freeze.
- The fawn response may have been adaptive in the past but can become maladaptive in adulthood, leading to a pattern of people-pleasing and self-neglect.
Conclusion
Understanding the fawn response is crucial for anyone who has experienced trauma or knows someone who has. It is a survival mechanism that involves trying to appease or please a person who is both a care provider and a source of threat. This response is often overlooked but is prevalent in high-stress situations that have often been drawn out.
If you find yourself engaging in the fawn response, it is essential to recognize it and work to change this behavior. Some ways to do this include:
- Setting boundaries: Learn to say “no” and set limits on what you are willing to do for others.
- Practicing self-care: Take care of yourself and prioritize your own needs.
- Seeking therapy: A licensed therapist can help you work through trauma and develop healthy coping mechanisms.
Remember, healing from trauma is a journey, and seeking help along the way is okay. By understanding the fawn response and working to change this behavior, you can begin to move towards a healthier and happier life.
Frequently Asked Questions
How can I recognize a fawn trauma response?
Recognizing a fawn trauma response involves understanding how you react to stress and trauma. If you tend to put other people’s needs before your own, have difficulty setting boundaries, and have a problem saying no, you may have a fawn trauma response. This response can be a result of childhood trauma or other traumatic events.
What are the symptoms of a fawn response?
The symptoms of a fawn response can include people-pleasing, being overly agreeable, and feeling responsible for other people’s feelings. You may also have difficulty expressing your needs and emotions and feel like you need to be perfect to be accepted.
What are some examples of a fawning response?
Examples of a fawning response include constantly apologizing, avoiding conflict, and being overly accommodating. You may also agree with others even if you don’t believe what they say. Fawning can also involve trying to make other people happy at the expense of your own needs.
How can codependency and trauma lead to fawning?
Codependency and trauma can lead to fawning by creating a belief that your worth is based on how much you can help others. This can lead to a pattern of putting other people’s needs before your own and feeling responsible for their feelings. Trauma can also make setting boundaries and expressing your needs difficult, leading to a fawning response.
What is the Pete Walker fawn response?
The Pete Walker fawn response is a term used to describe a type of fawning response characterized by a fear of confrontation and a need to please others. This response is often a result of childhood trauma and can lead to feelings of shame and low self-esteem.
How can I stop the fawn response?
Stopping the fawn response involves learning to set boundaries, express your needs, and prioritize your well-being. This can include therapy, self-care practices, and learning to recognize and challenge negative thought patterns. It is important to remember that healing from trauma takes time and patience and that it is okay to seek help and support along the way.